Hokey Pokey isn't what it's all about

A Canadian research team has concluded that the "Hokey Pokey" isn't what it's all about. For years, participants at weddings, parties, and other social gatherings have proclaimed that the Hokey Pokey was, in fact, what it was all about. The four-person team set out to discover the truth and put years of blind belief to the test.

Seth Pattan, the team's lead researcher whose specialties include molecular harmonics and synthetic plasma bond technology, describes the finding as "pure genius". "We had no idea that what we discovered could be so huge", says Pattan. "These findings overturn generations of speculation and untruth."

Over a six-year period, the team conducted research and experiments at their lab in Sudbury, Ontario. They studied and tested a large volume of volunteer subjects (mostly college students) to gain a better understanding of their true desires and needs. "What we found was that the subjects placed a higher priority on matters other than the Hokey Pokey", said researcher Pete Lessard, who is best known for his research on color-bending theory at MIT. "It was extraordinary."

Included in the team's findings are a number of potential candidates that they conclude "might" be what it's all about. Among these candidates include dentistry, knuckles, Aluminum, woodworking, and small rocks.

While the research effort is complete, the team intends to further test their findings. "This was just the first step. We want to determine without a doubt that the Hokey Pokey is in fact what it is not about", said Pattan. The team is currently enjoying a brief break from their research while visiting New Mexico, after which they will continue their efforts in Sudbury.